About Me

INFO:

1. Your name: Wendell

2. Do you feel like your name fits you? I’ve had a lifetime to get used to it.

3. Do you have an alter ego? DJ Johnny Germ, but you knew that already.

4. Where were you born? Wilcox General Hospital in Lihue, Kauai

5. Where do you live? Liliha.

6. Do you like to travel? I try to take a trip once or twice a year to the mainland. Last year I went 4 times.

7. What is your birthday? Sometime in July, 1971

8. Do you have siblings? Tiffany and Shaeja, both younger.

9. Do you have pets? Nope, but I’d like another snowflake moray.

10. Which was the happiest year of your life? Probably 1992 – I was kicking ass at everything I did.

11. How old do you wish you were? 25 – a year before my life fell apart.

12. A movie is being made about your life. Who would you cast to play yourself? Some really geeky Asian kid who wouldn’t mind wearing colored contacts.

13. Who would you cast to play your significant other? (if you have no significant other, cast someone anyway) China Chow. Ican dream, can't I?

14. How would this movie end? With a wedding. All comedies end with a wedding.

15. Is it better to be famous or infamous? Famous = Wendell Yamada. Infamous = Wendell Carl Yamada. What is it about the infamous that makes the media refer to them by their full names? John Wilkes Booth. Mark David Chapman. James Earl Ray...

16. You're going to die a natural death. What is the cause? Alzheimers. Seems to run in the family.

17. You’re going to die a sudden, tragic death. What is the cause? A plane crash. I survived one; I doubt I’ll get lucky twice.

18. How long do you plan on living? Until 1950’s science fiction comes true: personal hovercrafts and food in pill form.

19. What was the last song you got stuck in your head? REEEENT reeent REEEENT reeent don’t you know that you’re toxic. Fucking Britney.

20. Sing any commercial jingle. Alaaaaa Moanaaaaaa

21. What is your favorite element on the periodic table? 99. “Einsteinium” You know you’re daddy when you have your own transuranic element and 14 recognized isotopes.

22. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset! When I see a sunrise, it’s usually because I’ve had a long night of partying and am usually fried by that point.

23. Introvert or extrovert? extrovertacaloliciousexpialodocius +1

24. Creation or evolution? Evolution, but the punctuated equilibrium model, not phyletic gradualism.

25. Action or reaction? I reckon I’ll have some of that ACTION ma’am.

26. Unity or individuality? Me: individuality. The nations of the world: unity.

27. Hugs or drugs? Hugs make me feel better, but drugs keep my head together.

28. Animal, vegetable, or mineral? Fungi.

29. Popsicle, creamsicle, or fudgesicle? Popsicle – I’m spectacularly lactose intolerant.

30. Fight or flight? Depends on who is holding the gun.

31. Who is your favorite historical figure? Yamada Asaemon VII.

32. Which historical figure could we have done without? He’s not history yet, but I’d say George W. Bush.

33. What happened in the last dream you remember? I was in a hotel, and I was mad because people kept walking into my room to flirt with my girlfriend but I was naked under the covers and didn’t want to show them my ding dong, so I kept yelling at them from my side of the bed to fuck off.

34. Do nice guys really finish last? Why the Hell do nice guys think that the world owes them anything?

35. What are your favorite boy names? Ashley.

36. What are your favorite girl names? Ashley.

37. Open or closed? Open.

38. White bread or wheat bread? Wheat bread!

39. Is it better to burn out than to fade away? Been watching Highlander, haven’t you? “Nuns. No sense of humor.” - Kurgan

40. You put a quarter into a toy machine. What comes out? Another Homie to add to my collection.

41. What do you want to be when you grow up? Grown-up, but not old.

42. What were your favorite childhood toys? Lego, Lego and Lego. Okay, Shrinkydinks too.

43. What was your first pet? A goldfish; it died after I kept petting it.

44. What annoys you? Good Charlotte, those posers.

45. What is your favorite action caption from the old batman TV show? (example: "pow" or "blam") BIFF!! That’s the sounded of Kung-Fu, don’t you know… BIFF BIFF BIFF EYAAAAAAH BIFF BIFF

46. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Whose tongue are we talking about here? Mine: 213 Gene Simmons: 74

47. The glass... half empty or half full? Half-full.


WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON...

48. Tightie whities. - I haven’t owned a pair in 15 years.

49. McDonalds happy meals. - If they called them “Sad Meals,” no one would buy them.

50. Reality shows. – That’s not reality, hoss.

51. Gummi bears or gummi worms? - Gummie bears. I must have licked and stuck over a hundred to classroom ceilings in my lifetime.

52. Would you rather sky dive or deep sea dive? - I’ve done both, and I’d definitely say sky diving.

53. Paper or plastic? - Paper, but I’m using plastic more and more nowadays. Viva debit cards.

54. What position do you sleep in? - On my right side, holding a pillow.

55. Do you sleep on the left, right, or the middle of the bed? – The middle, but only after I make a “fort” out of 7 pillows.

56. Sweet or sour? – Sweet, definitely.

57. What was your favorite after school special? – I didn’t watch those things. I was too busy playing soccer.

58. What is your favorite word? – Legume. Say it a few times. Legume. Legume.

59. Beach or mountains? – Mountains. I soooo love mountains.

60. Mounds or almond joy? – I’d say Almost Joy since I have nuts.

61. Do YOU feel like a nut? – All the time, baby .

62. To give or to recieve? – I give without question.

63. Chocolate or caramel? – mmmm chocolate!

64. Do you have any nicknames? – Wendy, Wendog (I hate that one)

65. What does your name mean? – “Wanderer”

66. Have you ever fainted? – No, sometimes I wish I did to spare myself the experience.

67. Have you ever had a crush on a school teacher? – Yeah, but she was totally hot.

68. What was the last thing you ate? – A grilled cheese sammich.

69. Do you have any bad habits? Yeah, but I’m working on it.


WORD ASSOCIATION... what is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear...

70. Grey... gray.

71. Human... genome.

72. Fruit Loop... parrot.

73. Glove... suede.

74. Plum... gross.

75. Structure... metrosexuals

76. Race... win.

77. Heart... broken.

78. Parasite... pals.


MORE INFO

79. What was your first happy memory? My dad picking up my mom and spinning her around.

80. What was your first unhappy memory? My mom telling me she and my dad were getting a divorce.

81. If you could visit any time period, what would it be? 2204 if we’re still around.

82. What would Jesus do? He’d rock out.

83. Make up a word and define it. “makatoonie” = the original riceboy

84. Favorite Kool-Aid flavor? They have more than one flavor?

85. Favorite pick-up line? “Hi.”

86. Who was the third gunman on the grassy knoll? If I knew that, I’d be dead too.

87. What did you like to make believe as a child? I was Kamenrider V3.

88. Did you have an imaginary friend? Uhhh, no. I had real friends.

89. Would you like to live in a castle or a mansion? Fuck, both of those are haunted. I just want a big house.

90. Re-arrange some of the letters in your first, middle, and last name to form a description of yourself. “Lewd.”

91. Do it fast or do it right? Do it right.

92. What was the last book you read? “Eats, Shoots and Leaves.”

93. Have you ever had surgery? Yes, and it freaking hurt.

94. Random fact about you... I never learned how to touch-type.

95. What is the first thing you wash in the shower? My face.

96. What is your favorite cereal? Frosted Mini-Wheats.

97. If you could learn any foreign language, what would it be? Japanese.

98. If you had the choice to live forever, would you? That sounds lonely, don’t you think?

99. If you had the choice to be the opposite sex for a day, would you? I would, if only to find out what girls really talk about when the men aren’t around.


DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

100. Fate? Yeah, but I’m a romantic.

101. Ghosts? No.

102. God? Sorry, I'm rather existentialist.

103. Big foot? Chewbacca is real, I tell you..

104. Soul mates? Yes.

105. Aliens? Definitely.

106. Angels? No.

107. Lochness monster? This is the dumbest question in the survey.

108. Heaven and Hell? No.

109. The Zodiac? I’m not Nancy Reagan.

110. Love at first sight? Yes.

111. Karma? Oddly, yes.

112. Vampires? *sigh*

113. If you had any super power, what would it be? The power to telekinetically flip peoples' shirt tags back into their shirts while I'm standing behind them in line.

114. Would you use your power for good or evil? Good.

115. Name something nostalgic. Duran Duran.

116. What are your turn-ons in the opposite sex? Intelligence, humor

117. What are your turn-offs in the opposite sex? Ignorance

118. What was the best compliment ever given to you? "Oh God you are so beautiful."

119. Which character from Scooby-Doo do you most relate to? Velma. $5 says she used to play Dungeons and Dragons when she was in 5th grade.

120. What is the worst trend of the present time? Mullets.

121. Beer or wine? Wine.

123. You can’t sleep. What do you do? Surveys.

124. Do you wear jewelry? Not anymore.

125. What is your favorite smell? Fresh baked bread; Play-Doh.

126. What was the best decade of the past century? The 80’s.

127. Which is your favorite month of the year? March

128. Do you smoke? I quit and stayed quit.

129. Do you drink? Socially.

130. What was your favorite subject in school? Theater.

131. What was your worst subject in school? AP Chemistry

132. If you had to give up one of your senses, what would it be? I bet most people say either “taste” or “smell.” This is a trick question. You taste things because you can smell.

133. Do you follow your head, your heart, or your crotch? My heart.

134. Do you truly know who you are? I’m continually learning.

135. Are you superstitious? No.

136. Are you sentimental? Yeah, but it hurts...

137. How many times a day do you eat? At least 4 times.

138. Are you more of a main idea or detail type of person? I’m a detail kind of person.

139. What is your favorite pie? Key Lime with a graham crust.

140. Have you ever been close to death? Yeah, that fricking scary-ass plane crash I was in.

141. Do you like roller coasters? Yes!

142. Apples or oranges? Oranges fo’ sheezy.

143. Are you hyperactive? Not anymore.

144. Do you talk in your sleep? Yeah, and some of the crap I say gets me into trouble.

145. What is your favorite holiday? Festivus!

146. Do you go to church? Are you kidding me? I’m a recovering Mormon. I RUN from church!

147. At what age do you think you will be married? 35 or 36 at the rate I’m going.

148. If you could open up your own business, what would it be? A publishing company.

149. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Deidre Chung. We met at the Rocky Horror Picture Show where she was wearing lingerie. That was cool.

150. What is your weakness? Comic books and geek girls.

151. What was the last movie you saw that made you cry? Lost in Translation.

152. If love were a flavor, which flavor would it be? Macaroni and cheese.

153. If hate were a flavor, which flavor would it be? School lunch.

154. Have you ever been prescribed any drugs? Many times.

155. Is lying sometimes necessary? Yes, but for good, not evil.

156. Bubbleyum or bubblicious? Interchangeable.

157. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck you, you fucking fuckity-fuck.

158. Do you have any birthmarks? Yeah, on my belly.

159. If you could visit anywhere in the US, where would it be? New York. It seems like another world.

160. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be? Japan during cherry blossom season.

162. Do you feel like your physical self matches your personality? Yes, as I am an honest Puck.

163. What was the name of your kindergarten teacher? Mrs. Yamagata.

164. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses, not contacts. I’m deathly afraid of touching my eyeball.

165. How tall are you? 5’2”

166. How tall would you like to be? 5'3"

167. Your current mood: Amused.

168. Do you dress up for Halloween? Sometimes.

169. Have you ever been in a car accident? A few.

170. What is your favorite lucky charm? A skateboard wheel spacer on a safety pin.

171. What color of underwear are you wearing? Orange and black.

172. Do you tend to date people younger or older than you? Younger. I don’t look for younger girls though; it just works out that way.

173. Do your exes look alike? No, not even close. I don’t have a “type.”

174. Do your exes act alike? No really. I’m not into repeating things that don’t work.

175. Have you ever been in love? Yes, and it hurts to think about it.

176. What is your favorite kids’ movie? Toy Story.

177. Have you ever hallucinated? HAHAHA.

178. What do you like most about the opposite sex? They smell better than us.

179. What do you hate most about the opposite sex? So many of them are bitter.

180. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. I can find my own dates, thankyewverymuch.

181. Would you want to be cloned? Yeah!

182. Have you ever peed in public? Every bush is my friend.

183. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? An optimist.

184. How did you find out that there was no Santa Claus? I always knew.

185. Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes!

186. Are you on a diet? I’m supposed to be, but mmmm cheeseburgers.

187. Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Have you seen my fucking lawn? The grass is greener on MY side.

188. Do you always want what you can’t have? Sometimes, but then, we can’t all have a Jacuzzi on our private airplane.

189. Do you act stupid around someone you have a crush on? OMFG, you have no idea. I’m the king of ass-making.

190. Have you ever been arrested? Yes, and it was super, super scary.

191. Can you cook? Yeah.

192. Do you think its wrong/weird if a girl asks a guy out? Works for me.

193. Do you have any allergies? Yeah, mango.

194. Ketchup or catsup? Ketchup.

195. Do you believe there is a meaning to life? If so, what is it? There is a meaning to life, and that is to find out the meaning to life.

196. What do you think about before you fall asleep? Whoever invented air conditioning: thank you.

197. What are your thoughts on the nature of good and evil? Depends on who is writing the PR.

198. Step into your cave. There you will find your power animal. What kind of animal is it? A Jaguar.

199. What does your power animal say to you? “Kimota!”

200. End this survey with a quote: "It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation." - Dr. Rob Gilbert."

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